High Functioning Anxiety Therapist

Unchecked Superpower

Seeing Around Corners

In business, the phrase "seeing around corners" is a skill. You can build a forward-looking strategy out of thin air. You can conceive multiple future based scenarios about any topic. This comes naturally to you. It's a 'superpower.'

You learned this as a kid. Unbeknownst to you then, you were running scenarios, tracking variables, and reading body language & social cues. As a kid, this "skill" kept you prepared and protected from unstable environments and unpredictable people. It's simply old childhood conditioning from a time when your life was not your own.

What you'll come to learn and practice is that vigilance, or "seeing around corners," is a superpower for objective work. But it is a sort of kryptonite when it's used for your emotions and relationships. The goal is simple: learn how to be more intentional rather than compulsive.

Get clear on this

Security

Anxiety and self-doubt are companions. On the outside, you might look accomplished and capable. But on the inside, you might feel like, "I'm not good enough," "They're going to find me out," "How am I coming across?"," "What's going to happen if I don't succeed?" These are your unconscious drivers. It's compulsive... on auto-pilot.

What you'll get clear on is: validation and invalidation. "Double-click" into these terms and you'll discover that both come with the modifiers "internal" and "external." You're currently dependent on external validation. And you're working hard to avoid external invalidation. It's a lot of work. A lot of energy. Learn how internal validation and internal invalidation work, and everything starts to shift.

This is when you realize the difference between safety and security. These two words may seem interchangeable. For a kid, they are. For an adult, they are worlds apart. What you'll come to see clearly is the difference between being unsafe and being insecure. Anxiety, self-doubt, and lack of confidence don't just show up. Your insecurities are running the show. Insecurities are cognitions, and they are creating your lived experience.

Start this 1:1 work and go from compulsive to intentional.

Useful reframe

Teleology

One way of thinking is called "etiology." This is the study of causes. For example, "Where did this come from?"," "What happened in your past?"," "How did these patterns develop?" It's common to find this type of therapy that focuses on the past (causes).

Another way of thinking is called "teleology." This is the study of purposes. For example, "What is this for?", "What is it doing for you?", "How is this bringing you closer to your goals?" This type of therapy shifts your focus from the past and places your attention on the present (with purpose in mind).

Teleology is empowering. This shift in thinking makes you realize you have competing goals. Teleology makes competing goals clear and obvious (thus, conscious and top-of-mind). Competing goals are one layer of self-sabotage. For example, a person might have a conscious goal of having a partner; and an unconscious goal of not being rejected. Guess which goal they are achieving?

Teleology brings this all to the surface and shines a light on it... so you can go from compulsive to intentional. This is real, lasting change... not symptom management.

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"My newly discovered self awareness along with the mindfulness practices have enabled me to think and operate at a completely new level of clarity and calmness." —Austin, TX

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