No More Mr. Nice Guy Therapist
Break free from the 'Nice Guy' syndrome with a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy therapist.
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'Nice Guy' Syndrome
People-pleasing. Avoiding conflict. Struggling to express authentic needs and desires. These are the basic characteristics of a 'Nice Guy.' These are all ways that adult men unconsciously seek approval from others.
These behavioral patterns were developed innocently enough in childhood. Of course a child is going to try to please the people around them- this is how a child gets what they want. Of course a child is going to avoid conflict- it's uncomfortable. And every child struggles to express themselves- they are learning how to communicate.
For a child, approval is very necessary. The problem is that these unconscious childhood strategies create significant challenges in adult relationships, careers, and personal fulfillment if they remain unconscious and go unadressed.
- Seeking approval and validation from others
- Difficulty setting boundaries and saying no
- Hiding mistakes and avoiding conflict
- Repressing feelings and needs
from Compulsive to Intentional
Recovering from the 'Nice Guy' Syndrome
The work is to shift from being compulsive to intentional. These strategies are simply engrained and require new ways of relating to yourself and the people around you.
Understanding Core Beliefs
This is metacognition. You can think about your thoughts. And you can think about your beliefs. You will learn to use your thoughts to understand (and change) the beliefs driving your 'Nice Guy' behaviors.
Setting Boundaries
In order to communicate your needs clearly, you need to be clear on what they are. Children are very aware of others' need and wants. Often moreso than their own. Consider this a skill that you'll improve with 1:1 guidance.
Building Authenticity
Dr. Glover says to accept yourself as "perfectly imperfect." This is authenticity. The question that we'll answer together and get clear on is: "who am I?" You're in a lot of roles. Which "yourself" are we talking about here?
Creating New Patterns
Like anything else, 'change' requires focused, intentional repetitions over a period of time. Just like going to the gym, results accumulate... they don't come after one workout, but through a series on singular workouts.
professional results
Working with a Therapist
NMMNG provides an excellent foundation and is the perfect starting point to learning more about your cognitions and emotions (your inner world that determines your outer world). But don't stop with the book...
In his book, Dr. Glover states, "I encourage recovering Nice Guys to begin this process with a therapist, therapy group, 12-step group, a religious leader, or close friend. Since Nice Guys tend to seek out the approval of women, I strongly encourage them to begin this process with men."
Working with a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy therapist will accelerate your results through personalized guidance and accountability. No different than working with a personal trainer at the gym. Sessions focus on applying NMMNG principles to your specific situations & roles, identifying blind spots, and creating concrete action steps for change.
NMMNG Therapist
About Jesse
Jesse is a dual-licensed psychotherapist who specializes in working with driven, high-functioning adults who are looking for real, lasting results.
- Dual-licensed psychotherapist (LMFT-A #205918, LPC-A #97301)
- Certified No More Mr. Nice Guy therapist
- Sessions conducted online via Zoom
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"Calls with Jesse are energising and shed clarity on my emotions and mental processes. Through changing my relationship to myself, Jesse is helping enormously to change my relationship to other people. I can't recommend him highly enough!" —London, England